African wives in the diaspora have been advised to desist from the archaic way of using sex as a bargaining tool in their marriages.
This unholy act has caused a lot of havoc in marriages sometimes compelling husbands to seek for sexual satisfaction outside their marital homes.
Mr. Emmanuel Kesse, a discussant at the maiden edition of a joint program organized by the Men’s and Women’s Ministries of New Covenant United Methodist Church (NCUMC) in Fairfield Ohio, dubbed, ‘Filling Each Other’s Tank’ expressed worry about the lukewarm attitude of African wives especially those in the diaspora when it comes to matters of sex and romance unlike their black American counterparts who are always battle ready.
Responding to a question by Dr. Nana Kissiwa-Arthur Mensah, moderator of the program on how to fill each other’s tank sexually, Emmanuel Kesse did not mince words in pouring out his frustration.
“Sometimes, things get so bad to the extent that you have to appease your wive in order to get what’s legitimately yours. But that’s not sustainable. They don’t initiate anything and when you do, they just quench the fire. In fact, that’s very frustrating”.
Whilst the members of the Women’s Ministry shared myriad of reasons that dwindle their sexual drive to explore as expected by their husbands ranging from stress from work and household chores, majority of the Men’s Fellowship members seconded the view of Mr. Emmanuel Kesse.
Mrs. Dorcas Boakye, a Nurse Practitioner and a discussant, blamed the situation on African cultural beliefs.
“Normally when an African woman explores like a wounded lion ready to devour as expected by our husbands, she is tagged as a spoilt girl so it compels them to be laid-back or give them the traditional missionary style to make us look more innocent”
Mrs. Florence Esi Jonfiah, a member of the Women’s Ministry contributing to the discussion could not fathom why most wives behave as if sex is a man’s benefit when as a matter of fact, the benefits it brings to them is unquantifiable.
“Look let’s not pretend, we equally need sex just like our men need it. For us, apart from the many health benefits including stress release, increased hormone production, vaginal health, improved circulation among others, the ecstatic moments alone is unimaginable”
‘Filling Each Other’s Tank’, a program organized by the NCUMC Men’s and Women’s Ministries over the weekend in Fairfield Ohio sought to explore ways to attend to the needs of spouses and families in order to build a happy Christian home.
This was a departure from both Ministries having separate meetings once in a while to deliberate on their spiritual growth and personal upliftment.
Areas explored included but not limited to intimacy, finances, emotional and psychological needs, raising kids in the diaspora and extended families.
The President of New Covenant United Methodist Church Women’s Ministry, Dr. Edith Gyan, impressed about the organization and the impact of the program hinted of similar events in the subsequent years to try and find solutions to major setbacks in diasporan relationships and families.
COSMOS ADOMAKO ANTWI BOASIAKO
CINCINNATI OHIO
